In his latest column, Business Report Executive Editor JR Ball uses a hypothetical story about a hipster dad’s questionable methods of reining in his family’s household expenses to illustrate Gov. John Bel Edwards’ recent claims about the state budget cuts he’s made since taking office.
“Bill John Edmunds, a 30-something hipster, and his fabulous wife Daniella have a budget problem,” Ball writes in his new column. “The cool couple—with two equally hipster kids, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, a Subaru Forester and an ultra-renovated Craftsman-style home in Mid City, are facing something of a fiscal cliff. It seems Bill John’s take-home pay of $10,000 a month as a computer something or other is $5,000 short of this way-chic family’s monthly expenses.”
As such, Ball says, Bill John declares that he’ll cut the family’s budget before seeking new revenue. His cuts include:
- Skipping the January mortgage payment to save $2,000.
- Rather than shopping at Whole Foods, where the weekly tab averages $180, the next month will be spent shopping at the Neighborhood Walmart, where the semi-equivalent tab is $120, a monthly difference of $240.
- Imposing a 30-day freeze on the $25 per week allowance for his children, Breah and Atticus, collectively saving another $200.
- Shelving plans to hire a lawn service with a monthly cost of $200.
- Cutting subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu and Sling, saving $60 per month.
- Ceasing the daily Starbucks trip, keeping an extra $200 in the hemp wallet each month.
“Unable to find any other fiscal waste or spending inefficiency and still needing $2,000 a month in new revenue, Bill John did what any good millennial would do: ask his parents for an infusion of cash,” Ball writes. “His pitch to those who control the purse strings was this: ‘Yes, I need $2,000 each month to balance our budget, but the good news is I’ve already made $3,000 a month in cuts!’”
But after asking for a breakdown of the cuts, Bill John’s normally enabling parents declined his request, Ball writes. The reason: the“cuts” aren’t actually cuts.
“The only expenses you actually eliminated were the online streaming services and the daily Starbucks run, totaling just $260,” Bill John’s father Franklin says in the story. “Not hiring the lawn service isn’t a spending cut because you never hired anyone in the first place. We call that an expense you didn’t incur, which is something different.”
Read the full column. Send your comments to editor@businessreport.com.
