BusinessReport.com

Consider, for a moment, the handshake.

In the U.S., it remains one of the most important forms of nonverbal business communication—an enduring litmus test for confidence and ability. Right or wrong, the quality of a handshake is instantly equated with character. A firm shake suggests strength and decisiveness. A bone-crushing one points to overzealousness. A “floppy fish” screams weakness. It might be unfair that a three-second gesture should trigger such assumptions, but that’s the way it is in American business. Otherwise, Handshaking 101 wouldn’t occupy such a large part of what we teach job seekers.

So given the magnitude of a decent handshake in the workplace, and the number of times we’ve all been reminded of its importance, it puzzles me that women, particularly in these parts, continue to be on the receiving end of handshakes from men that don’t pass muster. Instead of giving a full-on handshake in which the webbing between thumb and forefinger meet, some men stop short, delivering up a strange hybrid better suited for the opera or a political rope line. It might seem polite to give this “half-shake,” we’ll call it, but it leaves many professional women befuddled. More than likely, they were expecting the real deal.

It’s an awkward exchange that’s easily preventable, says Jesse Downs, LSU Career Services’ assistant director of job search. Downs spends considerable time with college seniors about to enter the job market, and she says handshake etiquette occupies part of every workshop or seminar on interviewing at the university, including her own three-hour class, “Strategic Career Development.” Students discuss the advantages of a good handshake and practice with classmates or instructors. Downs says she makes gender part of the discussion.

“One of the things we ask is, ‘What’s the difference between shaking hands with a man or a woman?’ We’ll get different answers—like, ‘Women need softer handshakes.’ Then we say, ‘The answer is, there is no difference,’” Downs says.

Downs isn’t sure how the message got across to a generation born in the late 1990s that the rules should be adjusted according to gender. Some might have been taught by family members it’s polite to go easy on women. Others, she believes, pick it up unconsciously. Regardless, there’s a big downside.

“Women tend to be offended if you don’t give them the same respect,” say Downs, adding that professional females in decision-making roles can have diminished respect for male colleagues or job applicants who extend their hands tentatively.

This is one of those potentially murky areas, like picking up the check and holding a door, which can give men pause in professional situations. Still, men who perform the half-shake because it seems polite should look no further than the Emily Post Institute for evidence to the contrary.

The Vermont-based organization, run by descendants of the late etiquette expert, devotes much of its attention to business etiquette. Spokesman Daniel Post Senning says there’s one thing you can be certain of when it comes to handshake delivery.

“It’s the same for men and women,” he says. “It’s such a ubiquitous gesture that everyone gets treated the same. To not offer it fully shows a lack of engagement.”

Senning says that he doesn’t see many instances of men serving up different styles of handshakes for women, which might be a vestige of courtly behavior more common in the South. But he does believe many people still struggle with shaking hands properly. Senning offers the following tips for everyone, regardless of age or gender:

Give a firm handshake that’s neither too hard nor too soft.

Make web-to-web contact.

Extend your hand with the thumb pointing up.

Give two pumps.

Make eye contact. If this proves unsettling, follow the advice the Post Institute provides children, and look at the bridge of the nose.