What with our preoccupation with the dumbing down of higher education, the Legislature’s acceptance of pathetic public education, the state’s fiscal follies and the Tigers reaching the pinnacle of the college baseball world [for the sixth time], you might have missed the fact that Baton Rouge is at war.
You read it right: War!
For those behind on the times, a little more than two years ago Mayor Kip Holden declared “an all-out war” on littering in our trash-strewn parish.
This, of course, is akin to France declaring war on Germany while the Nazis are goose-stepping their way down the Champs-Elysées and Hitler is doing a victory jig on the terrace at Trocadéro.
To put it bluntly, Baton Rouge is filthy—and has been for decades.
Maybe the streets paved with food wrappers, crushed super-sized cups, empty beer bottles and snuffed cigarette butts are a testament to our traffic nightmare, which turns a simple trip across town into a two-meal, high-tension, profanity-laced ordeal. [Ironically, the 20 minutes a day when traffic does flow freely provides the perfect opportunity for all manner of refuse to take flight from pickup truck beds and settle along highway shoulders or medians.]
Hours spent steaming in the SUV, as you might suspect, also cuts into our free time, offering one possible explanation for why so many landowners find it impossible to keep their empty lots from becoming jungles of junk and waist-high vegetation.
And then there are those automated garbage trucks that twice a week treat us to a two-handed, overhead slam dunk. The kids love it, but we could probably cut the number of trips—not to mention the ever-rising monthly fee—in half if we weren’t so busy refilling those mega-cans with trash spilled on the first trip.
We, the people, let the mayor know earlier this year that we’re tired of living in a pig sty and demanded—as we’re wont to do—that government do something about it. Holden, moved by the pleas, responded by declaring trashy streets, overgrown empty lots and garbage-clogged waterways this town’s axis of evil.
This isn’t the first time we’ve gotten mad as hell and decided we’re not gonna take this cesspool anymore. You’ll recall the Simpson administration got piggy with it, making bold promises and rolling out a snouty billboard campaign designed to insult us into a litter-free existence. It was a dung heap of a failure.
For most of our current two-year war, it’s been a stealth fight. But Holden, under public pressure, has recently ramped up the assault, eyeing some type of code system to fine those who refuse to clean up their trashy lots, establishing a litter court and vowing to purchase new street sweepers and hire 10 additional seasonal workers to keep our streets clean. He’s even launched something called the Pickup Challenge, pitting one team of elected officials against another team of elected officials in a contest to make Baton Rouge “cleaner than it’s ever been before.”
Yet I wonder if Holden’s can of whoopass can do the job, or will we find it crushed and rusting amid the overgrown grass on Corporate Boulevard?
I say the extent of our problem requires something far more drastic. Borrowing a page from Parking Wars, A&E’s hilarious show about the Philadelphia Parking Authority, I’m calling for the formation of the Baton Rouge Litter Authority.
The city hires scores of workers, paid a small base plus commission, to hit the streets and issue tickets to those caught violating the litter laws. The information is stored in an electronic database and those who rack up too many tickets get a visit from the BRLA to have a boot slapped to their vehicle, preventing the car from being driven. If there’s no restitution within 24 hours, the vehicle is impounded until the scofflaw settles the debt—including the towing charge.
Dennis McCain can send his Metro 21 cameras along to chronicle the BRLA’s adventures and edit the footage down into a monthly one-hour reality series, which will fill the void now that Mike Walker’s Metro Council meetings are simply unwatchable.
Here’s the dirty little secret of our war: Trash doesn’t simply show up out of thin air. We’re the reason the streets and parking lots of downtown resemble a garbage dump every Saturday and Sunday morning. We’re the ones bombing the sidewalks around the Governmental Building with cigarette butts. We’re the ones decorating boulevard medians with those “all items drastically reduced” advertising signs. Look in the mirror if you want to see who’s leaving the crumbled paper and discarded cups in the Wal-Mart shopping carts.
We have met the enemy and they are us.
Comments
Posted by lowrancep on June 30, 2009 at 3:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)
The trash fits right in with the Lamar Signs and Power Lines......Even Baton Rouge Green cares more about their signs than they do about planting new trees or keeping up their existing plantings. Best of all we have elections every month to be sure we always have those signs everywhere. Seems Baton Rouge cares little about how the city looks....but at least if you want a Queen Size Mattress for $299 you know who to call.
Posted by pmccarron on July 1, 2009 at 4:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I like the New Lamar Digital Billboards.
Gives me something to watch while I'm driving on the Interstate.
Posted by WindsorFox on July 2, 2009 at 11:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I'm sorry, power lines and signs are absolutely NOT the same as cigarette butts and garbage filled Church's bags scattered on the road. I bet these filthy people don't throw trash in their own yard.
Posted by fisherking on July 2, 2009 at 11:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I bet a lot of them do.
Posted by cmac on July 2, 2009 at 12:04 p.m. (Suggest removal)
JR, you didn't know about Kip receiving the 2009 Cleanest City Award? There was a photo in The Advocate yesterday with him surrounded by Louisiana Garden Club Federation members. What a joke!!!
Posted by mslisacolette on July 2, 2009 at 12:04 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I bet a lot of them do to. They keep their yards as well as their houses dirty to. You can't expect them to do better to the streets. No home training they are just triffling. If you work in and office you can see the same nasty behaviors they just don't care. I have gone through other states and road are real clean. I just don't know why Louisiana have to be one that people do not care.
Posted by spanishtowner on July 2, 2009 at 12:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
This is one of my perennial pet peeves, and pressure such as this needs to be kept up. I don't think a discussion of "their" behavior is appropriate, since littering behavior cuts across all lines, including the poor, derided smokers who probably don't otherwise litter but continue to throw butts on the ground. One of my favorite things is to see perfectly placed fast food bags in vacated parking spots, exactly where the driver's door would be, like the person is, you know, keeping his car clean. The "war" needs to begin in PUBLIC SPACES particularly downtown, and even more particularly around all the government offices there. Litter is not the only problem even here; weeds grow wherever they can find purchase all over downtown, including even the touted Shaw Center, the levee plaza and River Center, every new state building and the State Capitol grounds, a major tourist attraction (and that's not necessarily a dig at the overworked B&G folks who now must tend so much more than just the Capitol grounds, but to the protocol that allows such complacency). And as happy as I am that the Mayor and the SOS are shining a light on this issue, I want to know how progress will be demonstrated and tracked. Whatever St. Tammany is doing should be emulated; they do NOT have this problem. Bottom line is, it's gotta be done by public agencies until people learn to quit the behavior, and good luck with that. p.s. I live, work and play downtown, and pick up OPT every single day. Try it. Thanks JR.
Posted by dbesseiii on July 2, 2009 at 1:14 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Fix the trash problem.
1. Faith based solution: Prayer, and the trash burns in hell, forever.
2. Free market solution: Vouchers to pay your choice of private trash companies. May be tied in with faith based solution.
3. Clean up or else: Periodic litter tests. Fail and lose benefits.
4. Stealth solution: Trash cameras and mailed tickets.
5. Tax cut solution: Lower tax rates on high incomes always make things look better.
6. Louisiana Legislature re-define the problem solution: It’s not trash, it’s refuse. And refuse is to say no. And no trash is good. So, refuse is good. The more refuse the better. And we have lots of refuse.
Posted by ickypicky on July 2, 2009 at 1:44 p.m. (Suggest removal)
What timing- on my way to office where I opened this email, (just before 1:00pm) I was on N. Foster heading south following a white van which had what looked like public marking on the back door. The driver just threw out a paper napkin before turning into the BRCC drive. I wish traffic hadn't been so bad so I could have turned in the slobs.
Posted by icareaboutbr on July 2, 2009 at 5:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Many years ago, the City Police provided folks with post cards. When you spotted someone littering, you filled out the information on the card (date, time, location, vehicle description and license number, and offense) and mailed it in to the police. My understanding was after enough complaints, the offender was fined. We should bring this back!
Posted by pmccarron on July 6, 2009 at 5:38 p.m. (Suggest removal)
What about Guitar Lesson Man?
Is anything being done to stop this dude from posting his illegal signs everywhere? His phone number is on the signs.
Posted by Harvey on July 9, 2009 at 12:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Create a litter picture bulletin board page on your website for citizens to post pictures of trashy places in Baton Rouge. Ideally, the pictures would show an identifiable locale, but, regardless, would be accompanied by a caption describing the place and the trash. Notify the Mayor's Office and DPW when a new picture is posted. Also have a subscribable listserve to send such notice to the listserv's members. Publicize the page; ask other entities to link to it.
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