BusinessReport.com

Women and men tend to communicate in ways so radically different that it’s a perfect setup for all kinds of miscommunication—the stuff of which sitcom writers’ dreams are made.

Carole Jurkiewicz, an LSU professor of public administration, says research—including her own—illuminates several habits of women in positions of power that differentiate them from men in the same setting. Some of the theories are provocative—but not everyone buys them.

But back to communication. The research shows that women executives, in evaluations of underlings, tend to start out with niceties and emphasize the positive, before getting down to brass tacks. That method might work well with female underlings, since women tend only to hear the last thing said, Jurkiewicz says.

Not so with men. They tend to pay attention only to what’s said up front, and then tune the rest out. Male executives get to the point right away in evaluations, skipping the pleasant stuff and small talk. Put a male on one end and a female on the other, and right away you’ve got makings of a spectacular communication breakdown.

Being aware of these traits, which don’t hold true 100% of the time, is one way to avoid—or at least minimize—communication issues in the workplace. Forewarned is forearmed.

Kristen Wall, CEO of the Louisiana Workers Compensation Corporation, fits the pattern in how she evaluates employees.

“I tend to say, ‘Here’s my overall sense about how things are going,’” she says. “I tend to lead with the positive. I assume people would like to hear some of those things.”

At the same, Wall has known men who were very particular about cutting to the chase in evaluations.

“I have had men, not all of them, say: ‘Just tell me what do I need to do,’” she says.

Donna Bodin, vice president of employee services for Woman’s Hospital, agrees with the research.

“Women tend to rely on the old feedback sandwich: positive, negative, positive,” Bodin says. “Men think about whatever it is they need to convey that’s negative, and then charge forward to get it over with. What’s the saying? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus?”

Another way women and men are different, Jurkiewicz says, is in how they deal with conflict in the workplace. In general, when men disagree, they yell, butt heads and then forget about it. Women don’t feel the same freedom to react that way to conflict. They bury it—but they remember the insult.

“Women will hold a grudge, research has shown, for years and years if not a lifetime,” Jurkiewicz says. “They don’t forget and forgive, generally speaking. Most women are socialized in that manner, and let it out in ways that are socially acceptable, which are usually passive aggressive. Men get it out, and they go have a drink.”

Bodin thinks this is true in most instances, though personally feels comfortable dealing with conflict on a daily basis since her background is in human resources. In general, though, Bodin thinks women handle conflict in “more covert fashion” than men.

Wall, however, doesn’t see it that way. Maybe it’s because she “grew up with guys,” as she puts it, but Wall has no problem addressing conflict.

“Maybe I’m a little different,” she says. “I don’t know. I find as a woman I’m much more willing to say there’s a big elephant sitting in the room, and the men are less likely to do that. I find women are very willing to address the issue. I don’t know if that’s a man-woman thing to be perfectly honest.”

She thinks it has a lot to do with skill set, and says both sexes are guilty of poorly managing conflict, even falling into conflict avoidance.

Another curious facet of the research is how women treat other women in the workplace. Not well, according to a recent New York Times piece. Jurkiewicz says female executives tend to be harder on female subordinates than male underlings, demanding more, paying less and more likely to berate in them public.

One possible reason is that female executives see up-and-coming female subordinates as a threat to their status, since leadership opportunities for women are still scarce compared to those for males. Also, Jurkiewicz theorizes that women who’ve made it to the top tend to identify more with their male peers, and perhaps for that reason are tougher on female underlings.

Wall says she hasn’t experienced it in her workplace, though there’s only one other woman on LWCC’s executive staff, and she likes to see other women succeed. Wall has noticed the phenomenon elsewhere, though.

“I do see it,” she says. “I do know that women tend to be harder on other women. I’ve seen that in voting behaviors. If you have women and men in an election—this is just something I’ve observed—my general sense is that women don’t tend to vote for other women. The notion of women not seeing other women in leadership positions—I’ve definitely seen that.”

Bodin says bullies are bullies, male or female, and she hasn’t witnessed bullying of female staff by women leaders at Woman’s Hospital—even with a workforce that’s 92% female. But women have a fine line to tread.

“In order to succeed in business, women have to be assertive,” Bodin says. “Men are generally more assertive than women, in my opinion. If a woman is overly assertive, she’s labeled as aggressive. You can’t have that reputation and build relationships—and relationships are critical in an executive position.”

Perhaps the theory that stirs things up most of all is what Jurkiewicz describes as the three archetypes of powerful females—the “sex kitten,” the “iron maiden” and “nurturing mother.” She puts Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in the first category, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in the second and former First Lady Laura Bush in the third.

“They tend to perpetuate themselves,” Jurkiewicz says. “It’s the Pygmalion effect. People expect it of you. You’re successful using that type of power. You’re going to continue with that. Is Sarah Palin going to turn into an iron maiden? I don’t think so. She’s going to play that sex kitten role.”

Wall thinks people are more complicated than the stereotypes, though if she had to force herself into a category, “nurturing mother” would be the closest fit. Bodin follows suit.

“Nurturing is naturally within the nature of most women,” she says. “We just have to be careful not to overdo that in the workplace. I picked that category only because there’s no category for ‘smart, ethical, somewhat nurturing women.’”