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Well I married my dream girl

I married my dream girl

But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad.

So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb

We’re living in the basement at her mom and dad’s.

No, we can’t get a loan for a respectable home

Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit cards.

If we had gone to FreeCreditReport.com

I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

The folksy, singing husband in FreeCreditReport.com’s catchy TV ad might be vilifying his wife, but he illuminates an issue that affects men and women equally: discovering your new spouse comes with a financial smoking gun.

This month, as we emerge from a year in which Americans owed $920 billion on credit cards and the country had a negative savings rate for the second consecutive year, thousands of couples will surface from the holidays newly engaged. Among the pieces of advice they’ll hopefully hear, is the importance of discussing money—and revealing existing debt.

Frank money talk is a central component of You May Kiss the Bride (Now What?)!, a new book by Gonzales-based author Reginald A. Wickham. The 300-plus-page wedding preparation manual prompts couples to take a break from catering and bridesmaids, and get comfortable with everything that happens post-honeymoon, including day-to-day money management, buying a home, purchasing insurance and creating a health plan.

Wickham, who remarried in 2005, got the idea when his and his fiancée, local nonprofit consultant Trudy Bell, went to a wedding expo to help plan their small, second wedding ceremony.

Not only did the event generally target brides, Wickham says, but it also featured only products and services related to the wedding itself. The room was awash in dresses, tuxedos, limo companies and disc jockeys, but was void of anything practical, like real estate agents, financial planners, clergy, even cooking instructors.

“I left there feeling kind of sorry for all the young people who had no idea what marriage was going to be like,” he said.

Finding little else on the shelves beyond wedding planning guides and self-help manuals for couples with problems, Wickham got a book deal and compiled 16 chapters that explain and trigger discussions on topics like credit cards, budgeting, saving vs. investing, children, wills and more.

Money, he says, is one of the main deal-killers in relationships.

“It’s one of those taboo subjects,” he says. “Growing up, my family didn’t really talk about finances. I didn’t know what my father made or what my mother made. It’s often not talked about until something is wrong.”

But today, Wickham says, the money issue can be even thornier.

“People are waiting longer to get married, so each person has a greater financial history, which can be good if you’ve built something, or bad if you’ve incurred debt,” he says.

Couples not only need to hash out how they’re going to budget, and who is responsible for bills, but each person needs to understand and feel comfortable with the field of personal finance, Wickham says.

Women haven’t always learned about money and investing to the extent that men have, but they need to make it a top priority, bills.com co-founder and co-CEO Brad Stroh says.

“Women should not hand over all financial decision-making to a partner,” Stroh says. “Educate yourself by reading, reviewing reputable personal finance education Web sites and watching TV programs or speakers about investing.”

As for credit checks, Wickham agrees with the sad minstrel trapped in his wife’s parents’ basement.

“I discuss an issue that is extremely taboo, his and hers credit checks prior to getting married. Whew! Talk about tough issues to discuss over a dinner date!” he says. “As long as both parties have nothing to hide, knowing what’s on your credit reports can offer valuable information. Plus, if there is something wrong on either report, what better time to get it corrected than when you’re about to married?”

Beats living with the in-laws.